76 » pink weddings magazine
NOEL AND STEPHAN
at 10am we popped in to the registry office for a very
straightforward service, then went off to Paris on the Eurostar.
With all of that behind us, the time had come to apply for
his right to live in the UK and plan the biggest wedding recep-
tion imaginable. The problem with being a drag queen is that
everyone always expects the unexpected from you, so I really
felt the pressure to deliver ‘an event’. Luckily my now husband
wasn’t fazed by my ridiculousness and spurred me on. We
wanted to find a venue that was available on 4 July. It seemed
like an appropriate day to steal an American’s independence,
and the northerner in me figured that if we ever celebrated our
anniversary in his home land, we’d get free fireworks!
I remembered a venue called Azur that I had gigged in as
Fonda on a few occasions, right down on the beach in St
Leonards near Hastings. Remarkably, they still had 4 July
available and I couldn’t believe my luck. I slapped a deposit
in their hand instantly and raced home to Skype my beloved,
who was still living in the States while processing his
residency visa application. The venue was perfect. They offer
a package called ‘A grand wedding for a grand’ where they
offer you the room for a ceremony, and a sit-down three-
course meal for 50 guests for £1,000. Naturally, for someone
as popular as me, 50 guests was far too restrictive! So they
offered to cater for up to 180 for £20 per head, with a choice
of ten exquisite starters, main courses and desserts to form
our menu of two choices per course.
Our next task was to figure out the blessing. Did we want
a humanist, a registrar, or some other form of sermon? I put
this question to my husband, and his response was ‘we’re
already married, I don’t see the point in doing it again!
You’re a drag queen, put on a show!’ Part of me was excited,
but most of me was horrified; how the hell was I going to
strike a balance – heartwarming yet funny, without being
overly self indulgent or flippant? More than that, I had to
perform it in front of my family, spanning three generations
with an audience ranging from age seven to 70 – some
barely conscious of the fact that I’m gay – through to other
people that have only ever met me as Fonda!
But I love a challenge, and a er
days spent scratching my head
in front of a laptop and nights
spent seeking inspiration at the
bottom of a vodka bottle, an
idea was spawned.
As I told my friends on the circuit, more and more artists
were keen to be a part of it, to help me put on a wedding
day disguised as Hastings Gay Pride! This culminated in
opera singing after dinner speakers, drag DJs, live singers
