ARE YOU STRUGGLING
to throw
away something hideous that has slowly
brainwashed you into loving it dearly
forever? Are friends and family always
laughing at your fashion choices? Why not
sit down and have a ten-minute break to
read over the latest fashion faux pas of the
season and find out why, when people refer
to your clothing choices, they mention the
likes of Pat Butcher and Simon Cowell.
UGG… MORE LIKE URGH!
Not that anyone in their right mind would attend a
wedding in Uggs unless of course the wedding is in the
Alps, but you can never be too certain.
I’m not entirely sure if it’s the stigma that comes with
them and their D-list celeb associations or the fact
that when they’ve been worn twice they start to
fold in at the ankle and make you walk like you
desperately need the loo. Uggs became popular
with Pam Anderson on the ’80s show
Baywatch
and that’s exactly where they should
remain – in the past. I don’t care if
you paid £200 for them, take
them back and spend that
money on some dignity.
LEATHER
The only time you should be
wearing anything more than
a leather jacket is if you’re the
following:
Riding a motorcycle
Attending a rock gig
A bona fide rock star
Val Kilmer
If you don’t tick any of the above, put
those garments in a box safely at the
back of your wardrobe, alongside your
lost hopes and dreams.
THE ‘FUSEY’ HAIRCUT
I am seeing Lil and Phil from the
Rugrats
EVERYWHERE!
Doesn’t ring any bells? Google it. I’m sure barbers
worldwide are preparing to stick their scissors in their
own eyes if they are asked to do the Fusey cut just one.
more. time. And if it couldn’t get any worse, people are
actually taking to DIY Fusey cuts at home… thanks for
nothing Joey Essex.
CREEPERS
Ah… the platform shoe that spawned from Frankenstein’s
monster. Clunky, bold and bland – as alternative as they
are and as eye-catching as they may be, none of the above
makes them right.
Every time I see some skinny-legged person clomping past
me slow-mo in creepers, Bobby Pickett’s
Monster Mash
plays around inmy head until they are out of sight. It
doesn’t evenmatter if they are in baby pink; they are
far from elegant and highly unflattering to any leg.
If you’re not the stiletto-wearing type why not
trade in those zombie-stompers for some good
quality leather brogues, which are timeless and
classy (no graveyard required).
54 » pink weddings magazine
Fashion
Annie
large
at
‘Every time
I see some
skinny-legged
person
clomping past
me slow-mo in
creepers, Bobby
Pickett’s
Monster
Mash
plays around
in my head...’
Stay in the know about the fashion
no-nos, with Annie-Gerrard Hobson
