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20 » pink weddings magazine
Adoption
we had to push all the tme – we just didn’t feel right
with them. We were advised to contact social services,
so daniel made contact with them to start the
adopton process and we were welcomed immediately.
We haven’t really encountered much negatvity or
discriminaton – generally everyone is supportve and
any issues have been irrelevant on the whole. We’ve
always had fantastc support networks and i think that
is important for anyone wantng to have a child.
our family and friends are a huge and important
part of isaac’s life. We were very lucky to adopt isaac
from birth, which was a first for nottinghamshire
Social Services. We were present in a room next
door to the birth and isaac came to us immediately
after he was born, skin-to-skin. We took him home
from hospital six hours later.
Before we had isaac i was a teacher, so i took
leave to take up the role of everyday carer. But right
from the beginning we have shared all of the duties
and we have a great balance together which seems
to be working really well for isaac, who is a very
well-rounded, confident and content little boy.
the most difficult part of the adoption process
was that it was emotionally draining, particularly the
depth that the social workers go to in analysing
personal qualities and preparing you for all different
kinds of circumstances. this included intense
weekend training sessions, one-to-one interviews,
and placements in local children’s centres to get
hands-on experience, which took-up lots of our
time, however enjoyable it was. the overall purpose
was to give us the reality of parenting and the issues
faced in general adopting.
We were fortunate that isaac was a baby, but in
most circumstances the children are varying ages
from many backgrounds, which have ofen been
distressing for the child. this gave us many sleepless
nights and we had in-depth conversatons about
wantng to adopt all of the children who just needed
to have a safe environment to grow up, be loved, and
be allowed to develop their own personalites with
caring guidance from their parents. Unfortunately
there are many children in care needing to be
adopted who have had the most awful and
unfortunate start in life. it is quite heart-wrenching.
if you’re just starting out on the adoption
process, i would say focus on the end result – it is
most certainly more than worth it. We find it hard to
know what we did before our isaac came along; he
really is the best thing that has ever happened to us.
You have to stay focused on that end result and
don’t be pushed into anything other than what you
both really want.
Stay strong and confident, talk about everything
together, listen to each other throughout and be
there for each other, as it’s an emotional ride.
If you’re just starting out on
the adoption process, I would
say focus on the end result –
it ismost certainlymore than
worth it. We find it hard to
knowwhat we did before our
Isaac came along; he really is
the best thing that has ever
happened to us.