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100 » pink weddings magazine
Ask FondA
DEAR FONDA
,
how can I demote a
useless, disorganised maid of
honour in a way that will still keep
our friendship intact?
Useless friends are good to have around – they
always make us look so much more
accomplished even when our greatest
achievement of the day is merely
finding a bra that matches our
knickers. Most brides hate anyone else
having any
control
over their
wedding so
having a maid of
honour that leaves you to do all the
organisation sounds like the perfect
scenario. And if you’re worried that
on the day she might not be up to
the job, try employing a trained
chimp to take some of the strain
off of her – they've been
desperate for work ever since PG
tips replaced them with a sock
puppet
DEAR FONDA
, my younger sister has
decided to set her wedding date a month
before mine. I’m trying to be happy for her, but I
don’t want to be upstaged. What should I do?
Petrol bomb the venue the night before. Too
drastic? Offer to pay for her wedding invites and
alter the location of the reception to a Little
Chef. Most of the RSVPs are bound to come back
with a ‘thanks but no thanks’ response, and then
you’ll be free to shine resplendent in your
packed-out marquee a month later. Failing that,
write to Jeremy Kyle and get her on TV – no
relationship survives an appearance on there.
Ask
Our agony aunt – and legendary
cabaret star –
Fonda Cox
, takes a
breather from themicrophone to
answer your queries...