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pink weddings magazine » 7
Cover story
should you use a
professional celebrant
to conduct your wedding?
We asked family celebrant
Christopher J D Lawrence
to explain the options
T
he recent change in legislation that has
allowed same-sex marriages in England and
Wales now puts same-sex couples on the same
footing as heterosexual couples. They are able
to enjoy the thrill and excitement of being
married in front of their friends and family. They can bear
witness to their undying love and commitment to each
other in an act of marriage that is legally, socially and
culturally identical to that enjoyed by opposite sex couples.
This right is not universally enjoyed, and it is a step
towards equality that we in England and Wales can be
extremely proud of.
As a professional celebrant, a member of the
Fellowship of Professional Celebrants, I am often quite
surprised by the lack of understanding of the role that
celebrants can play in this process. Now that same sex
couples have the right to marry legally, they too have some
options that are not clearly and widely understood. I hope
to bust some of the myths that surround marriage and
weddings and the choices that are now open to same sex-
couples. I won’t answer all the questions you are bound to
have, but hopefully I can give you some ideas as to how
you can enjoy your wedding ceremony using the principles
of ‘your choice, your voice, your ceremony’.
*****
The Marriage (Same Sex Couples) Act 2013 allows same-
sex couples to marry in any ‘appropriately registered
building’. Passed into law on 29 March 2014, the new law
means that there are now literally thousands of buildings
throughout England and Wales where same-sex couples
can enjoy a civil marriage ceremony. Options will now
include register offices, hotels, stately homes and many
famous buildings, and all local authorities will be happy to
provide a list of approved locations. No longer will your
choice be a temporary register office in a portakabin next
to the Town Hall – those days are well past. While the
Church of England and Church in Wales remain opted out,
any other religious building can opt in, so Quaker Meeting
Houses and Reform Synagogues may be another option.
The civil marriage ceremony itself is straightforward.
Although couples will be offered some choice as to the
actual words they can use, the civil ceremony must include
certain legal formalities. Essentially there are three required
mandatory steps. The first two are the declaratory words,
for example ‘I do solemnly declare that I know not of any
lawful impediment why I may not be joined in matrimony’
and the contracting words, such as ‘I call upon these
persons here present to witness that I take you to be my
lawful wedded husband or wife.’ These words are then
followed by the signing of the register in front of two
independent witnesses.
While couples will be offered some choices of
declaratory and contracting words, these are really just
slightly different ways of phrasing the same statements. The
ceremony can be quite brief, potentially being over within
minutes. This is all that is required to satisfy the legal
requirements of getting married. There is no requirement to
exchange vows or rings, nor any need for readings or rituals
of any kind. There is a requirement to give notice of
intention to marry ahead of the civil ceremony, and this has
not changed – think of the notice period as being similar to
the reading of bans for a church wedding. You must give
notice to a register office and this notice is then publicised
‘The civil marriage
ceremony itself is
straightforward.
Although couples will be
offered some choice as
to the actual words they
can use, the civil
ceremony must include
certain legal formalities.’