DEAR FONDA
, I want fireworks in the evening but the
hotel says no, because of a cow living in the field at the
back of the hotel. What can I do?
Marissa, Devon
FONDA SAYS
: Offer to restrict your fireworks to a
bovine friendly-display, such as nice quiet Roman
candles and sparklers. If you have something
more showy in mind, buy the cow.
DEAR FONDA
, I’d like us to wear a bit of make-up on
our big day, but my partner Kevin won’t hear of it. How
can I convince him to at least use a bit of guyliner?
Simon, Oxford
FONDA SAYS
: Wearing a touch of make-up is all
about looking after yourself and should be as
natural to a man as moisturising. If he won’t
wear his guyliner, keep your socks on in bed.
DEAR FONDA
, My partner Terry wants roast beef and
Yorkshire pudding at our reception, but I’m a fish
man. Help.
Wayne, London
FONDA SAYS
: How about going for a full-on
Tudor banquet. You’ll get more than your share
of meat and fish and get to dress up as a knight
or wench. And if you need a queen, good old
Fonda is here to help.
DEAR FONDA
, My partner wants her sister to be our
bridesmaid, but I don’t want her in the photos as she’s
tons better looking thanme. How can I make sure she
takes a back seat?
Helen, Manchester
FONDA SAYS
: Forget any thoughts of a tantrum –
you need to be subtle. Arrange for her dress to be
fairly ill-fitting so she’ll stay on the back row. If
she still shows off, bribe the waiter to trip with a
tray of red wine.
International cabaret legend Fonda Cox is available for
hire – email enquiries@fondacox.com
pink weddings magazine » 13
aSk Fonda
Out on the town
Seize the essence of New York or
London for your stag or hen party…
Historic pints
Plan a booze-up in the best possible taste
with the help of the London Pub Crawl
Company. From royal connections to
historic landmarks, the team offers you
the results of its (arduous!) homework,
which you can download to your phone as
a pdf. There’s plenty of choice – the ‘In
Earshot of Royalty’ tour takes you round
the playground of London’s well-to-do,
‘The Great fire of London’ tour tracks the
path of the raging fire in 1666, and the
‘historic docks’ route retraces the steps of
the Captain of the Mayflower, before he
took the Founding Fathers to America.
Each tour takes you to carefully
selected pubs and offers you all the
information you need, frommaps and
nearest tube stations to reviews of pub
food and ambience.
Tours range from free of charge to £1.49,
www.thelondonpubcrawlco.com
Ask Fonda
Our new agony aunt, the
one and only
Fonda Cox
,
answers your queries…
Shops, shoes and shameless fun
Plan your girly hen extravaganza in Carrie’s Manolos
with a New York Sex and the CityWeekend. You’ll be
collected from the airport in a stretch limousine to
begin three nights of decadence, starting with an
evening to explore the nightlife. The next day you’ll be
taken to drink where the girls drank and shop where
they shopped, and in the evening you’ll get all glammed
up for the cocktail bars and one of the hottest clubs in
town, to dance until the early hours.
From £232 per person, www.redsevenleisure.co.uk